Gears 4 Beers Dictionary of Cycling Terms

casual
easy
17-18
conversational
zone 1
pre-SOG recovery
I'm not going hard today
okay you've pulled enough
soft pedal
easy rollers
flat
hills
I won't be sprinting today...
Slowing
No one left behind
Beverages to follow
Neutral roll-out
Car back...
Nice Tempo pace...

= = very fast
= = killer
= = if you can hold 25 we'll still drop you
= = I can't speak as there is lung stuck in my throat
= = near death heart rate
= = casual, easy, 17-18, conversational, zone 1 ... see above
= = I am going to drop you like a bad habit first chance I get
= = ATTACK
= = only required for 10 - 20 strokes, then sprint ... see ATTACK
= = only Everest would stress you more ... see easy
= = except for the three 30% grades and the easy rollers
= = "You Can't Handle the Truth" ... get on the trail wimp
= = 82 secs later takes wins sprint!
= = get the hell out of the way before I run you over.
= = as long as you can keep up; but once you can’t, you’re not part of our group…see ATTACK
= = 2nd mortgage at the Works
= = let it rip, anaerobic zone
= = must ride single file so you still have to keep pulling
= = if you have to ask, its too fast for you

Okay so I've had a few beers (Wicked ale is wicked) but what the heck....as owner of the G4B list I struggle with the thought of moderating the list. Becasue I am such a girlie boy I enlisted the help of JR and Gigger early on to deal with posts. JR's recent reply to Dans post finally solidified my thoughts on posting. First and formost, G4B is not

a) a democracy
b) a club
c) its not even an organization...

ITS A FAMILY ... screw with my family and you will pay dearly.

That said, unlike the CCC, being in G4B is not a right just because you signed up for the ride line, it is a privilege that must be earned. How does one earn this? First by showing up and riding, second by helping other riders, by teaching, sweeping and generally encouraging G4B-ism. Do you have to be fast?? NO, do you have to climb like a billy goat? NO. Do you have to have a fancy bike? NO. Do you have to have youngins at the corner farm?? NO. Just participate..its really very simple (well it helps to drink beer but on this we are a wee bit tolerant). Or bring home brew and CC cookies (-; If you don't show up to ride, pls don't tell us how to run our family.

A great example recently was Dale's post about the garden show (sorry to single you out Dale). Normally I have discouraged off topic posts like baskets and soliciting fund raising rides and stem cell research and mirrors etc etc. that individuals have asked to post or posted on their own, and I really struggled with saying something to Dale, just to be consistent. (Fortunately in many cases JR has less restraint, thanks JR!) But I consciously did not say anything to Dale because he is family, he rides with us, he's helped me understand racing/training and has generally been a great G4Ber....we'll cut you slack and even come see your wonderful work. Besides I know Dale and am interested in his life as I suspect many others who participate in G4B are. If someone who does not ride with us posted this or any of the other items I mentioned above, you WILL get a serious rash of shit, excuse my French, and in rare cases you will be banned from posting. The three of us hold the magic mouse click of censorship...there is no general vote on this...action is swift and unforgiving. Essentially what I am saying is we have a double standard and we don't apologize for it

We have 190 people on the list and I'm betting 50% (likely even more) have never ridden with us...thats cool, we welcome all comers (lurkers too), but be careful what you post. I am honestly confused why folks read the list if you don't even want to come out and ride with us but it really does make no difference, what ever floats your boat...unless there's a post we don't care for. As you may have noticed, the family WILL circle and defend itself. If you don't like it, tough, there's always the CCC ride line and club to play with.

So what's the flip side....we are a group of jokers...if you can't take a joke you are in serious trouble. The more you participate, the more likely you will be the target of some fun grief. Giving each other a hard time in print, on rides and post ride is part of the fun of G4B. If you have a thin skin you may want to think about the CCC. Of course we are not all insensitive jerks, we know who we can razz and who would probably not care for it, but in general at some point or another you will be the object of some serious trash talk. Have fun with it...isn't that what its all about anyway? Dish it back dudes and dudettes (yea, theres no exemption for the women!).

Okay I am off my soap box now...comments appreciated...goatius the pontificator